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| Me, my mom and my sister. Photo was taken while we were celebrating Mom's 50th birthday in Nov. 2014. |
This is also a day when some people are filled with longing for their mothers/children who've passed away or the longing to be a mom, some struggle with estranged relationships with their mothers/kids, some are overwhelmed with the physical and emotional exhaustion of motherhood, etc. etc. No mom is perfect - cut your mom a break, and cut yourself a break. If you're harboring any struggle with bitterness or shame, let this be a day for God's grace to wash that away.
Special virtual hug to all farm moms, because there's a good chance you're a "spring widow" on Mother's Day, and the emotions of that hit even harder coupled with the exhaustion of planting season setting in.
The past five years of Mother's Day have meant all kinds of emotions for me. They've been my first times to celebrate that I'm a mother. This new experience and perspective has exposed the reality of all the gratitude and apologies I owe to my mom. They've also shown me the reality of this role - 24/7, sacrificial and full of non-monetary rewards. (That list is so similar to farming - 24/7, sacrificial and full of non-monetary rewards. But this post isn't really about farming...)
There are so many things I now learn from my mom's example as a farm wife. Respecting her husband, supporting his calling, being involved in his calling but with her limits and boundaries for her own sanity and self-fulfillment. The last two weeks, I've embraced something from her that I never thought I would..."playing it by ear."
I don't know if I've ever heard anyone else say that phrase like my mom. In fact, I'm not sure of whether it's a common phrase or if it's just common within our family. (In case it's just us, it means that we won't set a plan for what or when we'll do something, we'll just see what happens when the time comes.) I must have heard her say it thousands of times growing up, and I always thought she was just anti-scheduling and anti-commitment.
I, on the other hand, like to have a plan and stick to it. It drove me crazy that we never set our plans. Not only because I wanted to know what was coming and plan for it, but also because I thought we seemed rude, uncaring, unprofessional.
Now I get it. Don't set the plans because then no one will be as upset when they change. When your life revolves around things like the weather and breakdowns, plans are bound to change at a moment's notice.
It's hard to truly appreciate someone until you "walk in their shoes." That is the case when you have your own kids, and only then do you truly realize what your parents did for you. I'm so grateful to be a farm wife and have this unique opportunity to appreciate what my mom did (does) as a farm wife. I continually ask her questions and seek her advice from the perspective of this role.
So what will I be doing on Mother's Day? We'll play it by ear... :)
